So It has been a while since I have written. A very long while. I stopped because I think I got overwhelmed.
I think the thought of my feelings actually being exposed to the world frightened me. It made me more vulnerable and that is one thing I have never been good at being.
The past few weeks though I have jumped back on a roller coaster ride and realized that writing is one of the few ways I truly express myself. I was thinking of keeping it private but then I realized…I really have nothing to loose.
So the first topic. The land of the “unsaid.” Since it goes with the territory of being bad at this feelings business, I often do not say or express the things I am thinking, or feeling, even when I know I should. I think of you…I need you…I miss you…These are some of the hardest things for me to say. They shouldn’t be I don’t think. I think they are natural for most people, but for some reason for me they aren’t that easy.
I hear them a lot. It would seem logical I responded in the same way, but I don’t. I avoid those topics as much as I can. My goal from here on out is to attempt to vocalize my feelings more. I want to stop saying “I’m fine,” or “I’ll be ok,” just to avoid talking about things. You guys have to keep me to my word ;)
